


"I lost the baby." [Lafayette x Reader]

by brilliantboffins



Series: Hamilton Requests [7]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff (at the end), Miscarriage, Modern AU, Reader Insert, happy-ish ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 11:19:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10943448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brilliantboffins/pseuds/brilliantboffins
Summary: Prompt: “I lost the baby.”Summary: "You woke that morning with a gasp, hazy dreams shattering as real pain assaulted you. It felt like someone was stabbing your abdomen, but from the inside causing you to roll onto your side, curling up with a cry.”French translations at the end.Y/N = your name(Use these extensions to replace Y/N with your name:Chrome: “Search and Replace”FiredFox:“Find and Replace”)





	"I lost the baby." [Lafayette x Reader]

You woke that morning with a gasp, hazy dreams shattering as real pain assaulted you. It felt like someone was stabbing your abdomen, but from the inside causing you to roll onto your side, curling up with a cry.

“L-Laf!” You shouted, tears already in your eyes as you gripped the bed sheets tightly, “Laf, s-something’s wrong!”

No answer.

You sobbed as another crippling wave of pain flooded through you. Frantically, you clutched your stomach, almost five months and swollen to clearly indicate that you held another living being inside of you. Through the pain you tried to find your phone, wanting to call for help. The device was charging on the nightstand and you reached for it, accidentally knocking it to the floor. With a curse, you crawled to the side of the bed and leaned down to get it just as the pain increased sharply.

“AH!!” You yelped, tumbling over the bed to the floor. Your legs were tangled in the sheets and as they got dragged down with you you spotted red.

“No..oh god, no, no, please, no,” you whimpered, shaking at the sight.

You looked down between your legs and saw that your pajama pants were also stained, and the color was only spreading. As you quickly shifted your attention to the phone, your vision began to blur. No matter how many times you blinked or narrowed your eyes nothing would focus and you couldn’t get the damn thing unlocked. You felt dizzy and even holding the phone felt like an arduous task. Your consciousness slipped and you slumped to the floor.

\-------------------------

Lafayette hummed as he headed for the apartment you and he shared. It was in a quiet neighborhood, a new building, and one he had specifically found when you revealed you were pregnant. There was a school nearby, a park, lots of greenery and even a small river with some hiking paths. He was so excited to be a father and had gotten the nursery all ready, despite your protests that it was far too early. Every doctor’s appointment he made sure to take you, and he never missed the parenting classes. Knowing you were exhausted half the time, he made sure to take detailed notes, letting you focus on your body and the physical aspects of the pregnancy while he took charge of all the prep work.

This morning he had woken up early and snuck out to get you breakfast. The diner down the road sold full-course breakfasts that he knew you loved, so he had ordered two for takeout and gone to pick them up. Recently you had been feeling a little under the weather as your body got heavier and hindered your movements, and he hoped this will help cheer you up a bit.

As he entered the building and got to the elevator, he smiled imagining your sleepy face greeting him when he returned.

\---------------------

“Y/N! Y/N, réveille-toi mon coeur! S'il vous plaît, mon ange, s'il vous plaît, vous devez réveiller mon cœur!”  
_(Y/N! Y/N, wake up my love! Please, my angel, please, you must wake up sweetheart!)_

You groaned at the loud, frantic voice, curling up and trying to get away from it.

“Elle est ici! S'il vous plaît, aidez-la!” The voice called out before footsteps thundered into the room.  
_(She’s here! Please, help her!)_

Someone tried to lift you and you stubbornly refused to budge. Your abdomen was throbbing and every movement hurt, so you clutched your stomach tighter and hunkered down, eyes clenched tight and wishing everyone else would leave you alone.

“Miss, we need to check your condition. Can you hear me?”

This voice was authoritative and no-nonsense, it broke through your hazy brain and jolted you into reality as your eyes blinked open.

“Wh….what’s going on?” You asked quietly, trying to look around.

On one side of you was your boyfriend, Lafayette, eyes red-rimmed and tears on his cheeks even as his expression lit up seeing you awake, On the other side was a team of paramedics, one of them trying to uncurl you while the other prepared a stretcher.

“Miss, your partner here called us after finding you unconscious on the floor. Can you recall what happened?” One of the paramedics asked.

“Um…y-yeah. I woke up and…and there was this…pain. Like, really, really painful…like…like menstrual cramps plus stubbed toe plus stepping on Legos level of pain,” you rambled as the memories returned, “I was trying to get my phone but I…I guess I fell off the bed?”

Suddenly, you jolted up with a grimace, “THE BABY!! Oh god, how’s the baby?”

You frantically looked down your body where the bedsheets around your legs were pooled with blood. Letting out a sharp cry of panic, you shoved the sheets aside and pulled up your pajama shirt like you could check the condition of the baby from the outside. Unfortunately there wasn’t much self-diagnosing you could do and you turned pleadingly to the paramedic and Lafayette, eyes wide and on the verge of crying.

“P-please, how’s my baby? Is she ok? She has to be ok, right?”

Lafayette hurriedly grabbed your hands, kissing your knuckles between bringing them to his chest.

“Chérie, we must take you to ze hospital. Zey can check you over and also notre bébé.”

Logically, you knew that was the best, but you needed to know NOW. There was too much blood and the smell of copper was making you desperate. This wasn’t supposed to happen, you had followed all the doctor’s instructions, you ate well, rested plenty, exercised when necessary, how could this happen?

“B-but can’t you tell me now?” You pleaded to the paramedic, “She’s…she’s going to be ok, right?”

The woman gave you a gentle smile and patted your shoulder as her partner came over and they started getting you ready to be moved to the stretcher.

“Take it easy, miss. It’ll be all right. Your partner can come in the ambulance with you, do you need him to bring anything?”

It was obvious they were avoiding your questions and, as frustrated as you were, you decided to hold off and let them do their job. The sooner you get to the hospital the sooner you’ll find out what the hell just happened.

“No…m-maybe just something I can change into after?”

Lafayette nodded and quickly went to the closet, pulling out some new clothes for you and stuffing it into a bag. The paramedics strapped you down to the stretcher and wheeled you out of the apartment with your boyfriend hot on their heels. The pain had lessened but you could feel the wet stickiness of your pajama pants, reminding you of everything that had happened. This was your first pregnancy and Lafayette had been so overjoyed at the prospect of having a little one. He lavished affection on you, even more than usual, getting you whatever you need to be comfortable. Every day he gave you a whole-body massage before bed, knowing you would be sore and achy, and in the morning he always got up early to make breakfast even though half the time you just threw it up. One day you had come home to find him trying to learn how to knit using a Youtube tutorial, and although the end result looked more like a mangled sock instead of a baby outfit it was still sweet how much he tried. If something did happen to the baby…you shook your head as the tears gathered.

It would be all your fault, it must have been something you did. Did you push yourself too hard the other day? Were the shops too crowded when you went shopping last week and someone bumped into you? Was it something you ate? Maybe your clothes were too tight and it had harmed the baby?

Endless possibilities swirled in your head as they loaded you into the ambulance and drove off. You grabbed Lafayette’s hand and gave him a scared look.

“L-Laf…what if…what if the baby…,” you whispered, throat hoarse as you tried not to sob, “This is all my fault, I just know it is.”

“Shh, hush ma belle, do no say zis. C’est pas vrai. You ‘ave taken great care to protect our little one, zis is not your fault, mon chaton,” he comforted you, smoothing your hair back gently.

You sniffled and wiped at the tears in your eyes, “But…but she has to be ok, I mean, we have her crib and nursery all waiting for her. All the clothes and…and the toys, it’s all just waiting for her. She has to be ok, she has to be ok,” you chanted like a prayer, looking at Lafayette with such desperation he didn’t know what to do.

“I’m…I…o-oui..elle va bien,” he finally conceded.

\----------------------

You were whisked off to an examination room upon arrival and a doctor came in soon after.

“Hello there, so I hear we had a bit of a mishap this morning? Pain in the abdomen and vaginal bleeding?” He asked, looking calm and collected.

You nodded as Lafayette moved closer to your side.

“Yes…um, I woke up and felt the pain.”

“Have you been doing anything strenuous recently?”

“No…I mean, not that I can recall.”

“Eating regularly?”

“Yes, my…my boyfriend makes all my meals,” you glanced over at Lafayette and gave him a small smile which he returned brightly and with pride.

“Hm, ok, can I get you to put your feet up here and we’ll take a look,” the doctor said, motioning to the stirrups.

You took a deep breath and followed his instructions. Lafayette leaned down and pressed his forehead to yours, cupping your cheeks tenderly as he gave you a soft kiss.

“Ne t'inquiète pas, mon chaton, it will be all right,” he whispered against your lips.

Nodding, you tried to keep optimistic as the doctor prodded around. They had cleaned you up when you arrived and now you were dressed in a scratchy hospital gown leaving you feeling exposed and vulnerable.

“M-my last ultrasound was fine, my doctor didn’t mention any abnormalities,” you told the doctor shakily, trying to convince him that you were a good mother-to-be, “I’ve…I’ve been doing everything my doctor recommended, and…and Lafayette’s been helping as well.”

The Frenchman squeezed your hand and gently kissed your temple.

“Hm. I understand, but sometimes these things happen even when we do everything right,” the doctor sighed as he pulled down your gown and finished up the examination. He stood up and gave you and Lafayette a sad look causing your heart to drop.

“Oh god…no…please, please, no, tell me she’s ok, she has to be ok!” You cried, trying to sit up.

“I’m…I’m sorry to have to give you this news. But unfortunately, the baby’s lost,” the doctor said calmly, flicking his eyes between you and Lafayette.

You heard your boyfriend inhale sharply as a wave of complete guilt and failure washed over you. The baby was gone? How could that be? That simply wasn’t possible!

“NO! No, there has to be a mistake!” You screamed, holding your stomach, “She’s in there, I know she’s still in there! Doctor, please, check again!”

Tears dripped down your cheeks as you reached out, needing something to hold. Lafayette immediately wrapped his arms around you as he pulled you to his chest.

“Shhh…ma chérie, you must rest,” he soothed, even though you could tell he was shaking as well.

“No! They’re wrong, Laf! They have to be! Our…our daughter, I didn’t lose her, I didn’t lose our daughter!! I did everything I was supposed to, EVERYTHING!” You wailed, burying your face against him as your hands clung to the man like a lifeline,

“Oui, oui, je sais. You ‘ave been most careful, ma belle…, mon ange, ce n'est pas de ta faute. Ze doctor said sometimes zis happens, oui? It will be all right, mon coeur.”

You shook your head in denial, sobbing, “I…I…I lost the baby…our baby…our daughter, I lost her.”

Lafayette held you tightly and you heard him take a shuddering breath. Looking up through teary eyes, you saw that he, too, was crying. Tears fell from his eyes although he tried to be quiet about it, not wanting you to see how hard he was taking it. Your heart clenched seeing him try so hard to be strong for you and you wrapped your arms around him, hugging him back so that you could both cry together. You couldn’t believe the baby was gone, that when you leave this place your womb will be empty, it felt surreal.

It took several minutes for your crying to subside and for a long time you simply stayed in Lafayette’s arms, not wanting to move or face the world. The doctor had slipped out to give the two of you privacy and it was only Lafayette and you here, sharing each other’s grief. The Frenchman stroked your hair and kissed your cheeks, rubbing his hand along your back as the sobbing subsided.

“Chérie,” he whispered quietly, voice still thick with tears, “Zis is not your fault, you understand, oui? You must promise me you will not blame yourself.”

You looked at him sadly, knowing that he could guess your tendency to self-blame whenever something went wrong. But you needed to fault someone for this, and it certainly wasn’t Lafayette who caused the miscarriage.

“B-but it has to be me! Maybe…maybe when I was sleeping I put too much pressure on my stomach?”

“Non! Non, chérie, stop zis. Zere is no fault,” he gently cupped your chin and lifted your head, eyes meeting yours, “Promise me you will not blame yourself, Y/N. Please…”

You hesitated but finally nodded your agreement, trying to push down the guilt that was still gnawing at you.

Lafayette continued to hold you, rocking gently and whispering comforting words until a nurse appeared. She cautiously peeked in and Lafayette motioned for her to come in.

“Um…hi. Dr. Parson asked me to come and check how you were doing. Can I get you anything?”

You shook your head and sighed, “No…thank you. S-so what now? How long do I have to stay here?”

“Well, you didn’t suffer any injuries due to the miscarriage so you’re free to go whenever you feel up to it. Dr. Parson has called your personal doctor and gotten details on your case. He said since you do not have any health issues, and your last ultrasound also didn’t show abnormalities with the baby, the most likely cause of the miscarriage was a weak cervix, they call it a ‘cervical insufficiency,” the nurse explained.

You tried to absorb all the information through your muddled brain.

“A…weak cervix? So it…couldn’t hold the baby in?” You asked.

“Yes, that’s right. It dilated prematurely,” the nurse confirmed.

“So…so does that mean I can’t have kids? I mean, is there anything you can do to…to help it hold a baby in?” You asked desperately. If you were incapable of carrying a pregnancy to full-term that would be devastating.

“There is a procedure, it’s called cervical stitching. Doctors can perform if when you’re a few weeks into your pregnancy to help the condition.”

“Iz it safe?” Lafayette asked, eyes concerned.

The nurse bit her lip and looked between the two of you, “The majority of cases have positive outcomes. The procedure isn’t very complicated. But it’s not 100%, there are some risks.”

You whimpered and huddled closer against Lafayette, who hurriedly tightened his hold on you.

“Chérie, it is all right,” Lafayette comforted, “Even if you cannot ‘ave children, zat is ok. You are most important to me.”

“But you want kids, I know you do!” You cried in protest, the tears resurfacing, “You were so excited, getting the nursery…oh god, the nursery!! What’re we going to do about all the…all the things we have?”

Your voice climbed as you recalled all the baby products in your apartment which you will now have to get rid of.

“Mon précieux Y/N, you must not worry,” Lafayette cooed gently, “We will stay at a hotel for a few days. Non, do not argue mon chaton, you must rest, and ze rest I will take care of,” he said firmly, not giving you the chance to get worked up again, “As for les enfants, zere are ozer ways to welcome a little one into our home, oui? We can adopt, per’aps a lovely child who needs a une famille.”

You looked at him with wide eyes, “You’d…you’d be ok with adopting? What about passing down your title?”

Lafayette chuckled and kissed your hair, “Ma belle, ze title is but an empty title, it means nosing. Giving une famille to a child means much more, non? Besides, zis is somesing we can discuss later. Maintenant, you must first rest and recover. Mon chaton is tired and needs pampering, non?”

You couldn’t help but smile a little at his teasing as your mood lifted just a bit. The nurse cleared her throat reminding you of her presence and you looked over at her.

“Um…right. Ok, thank you for the information. C-can you tell Dr. Parson I’d like to be discharged as quickly as possible?”

The nurse nodded, “No problem. And, just one more thing. Please give your body some time to recover, it’s been through some trauma and so letting it find its equilibrium again is crucial for a full recovery. We can also recommend some counseling services if you’re interested, miscarriages actually happen far more often than most people realize and it can be helpful to get some professional help through it.”

“Ok…thank you, I’ll keep that in mind,” you replied as the nurse left the room and closed the door behind her.

With a heavy sigh you slumped against Lafayette, completely drained of energy.

“Fuck…I’m so tired.”

Lafayette cradled you in one arm and pulled out his phone with the other, holding the device so you could see the screen too.

“Zen we must find a nice, luxurious hotel for you to recover in. Where would you like, mon chaton? Ze Plaza? St. Regis? Mandarin Oriental? Peninsula? Park Hyatt?”

You rolled your eyes at your boyfriend, “Laf, those are some of the most expensive hotels in the city.”

He pouted at you, looking like a begging puppy, “Mais we can afford it, and zey are luxurious. Mon chaton should ‘ave ze best, oui?”

You took the phone from him and did a quick Google search.

“Here, Holiday Inn by Times Square. Under 200 per night.”

Lafayette scrunched up his nose and looked like he wanted to cry as he flipped through the website.

“Chaton, zis…zis is a respectable place mais…so basic?”

You gave him an unimpressed look.

He bit his lip and did some searching of his own before handing you the phone once more.

“Un compromise, Marriott Marquis, 400, oui? See, zey even ‘ave Marquis in ze name, just like me,” the man smiled brightly.

You looked over the details of the hotel and finally nodded your approval.

“Ok, this one’s fine. But don’t get some weird high-class suite or something, just a regular room.”

Lafayette nodded eagerly in agreement, “Oui, whatever you say, mon ange.”

For a few seconds you studied the man, watching him tap in the reservation online. His curls were frazzle, falling out of his normally neat bun, the tear tracks on his face had dried but still visible under the light, and his eyes looked weary. The shock of today had clearly thrown the normally sensitive man, but he was doing his best to hide it from you. Gently, you reached out and grasped his hand, making him look up from staring at the screen. You smiled and leaned up to kiss him, putting all your love and adoration for him into the kiss.

“Thank you, Gilbert…we’ll be ok,” you breathed softly.

You felt him smile against your lips and nod just a bit, “Oui, mon coeur, nous allons bien.”

 

* * *

 

_**END** _

Wow, that was kind of hard to write @__@ I’ve never been pregnant or had a miscarriage, so when it came to miscarriage causes/symptoms I relied on Google. If anything is incorrect please let me know.

 **French translations (in order of appearance)**  
Ma chérie - my darling  
notre bébé - our baby  
ma bell - my beautiful  
C'est pas vrai - it's not true  
mon chaton - my kitten  
oui, elle va bien - yes, she will be all right  
Ne t'inquiète pas - don't worry  
je sais - I know  
mon ange - my angel  
ce n'est pas de ta faute - this isn't your fault  
mon coeur - my sweeheart  
Mon précieux - my precious  
les enfants - children  
une famille - a family  
Maintenant - Now  
nous allons bien - we will be all right

 

Thanks for reading!! Kudos and comments loved and appreciated~!  
(You can find me on tumblr: **[la-frenchiest-frite](https://la-frenchiest-frite.tumblr.com/)** )


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